{"id":1966,"date":"2026-03-25T12:18:59","date_gmt":"2026-03-25T12:18:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nethergatewriters.com\/?p=1966"},"modified":"2026-03-25T12:18:59","modified_gmt":"2026-03-25T12:18:59","slug":"its-an-ill-wind-by-david-carson","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nethergatewriters.com\/?p=1966","title":{"rendered":"It\u2019s An Ill Wind by David Carson"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Storm Amy had blown in with malevolent gusto, and took her leave with a valedictory blast, as if blowing mocking raspberries behind her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

*<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Have you checked the garden?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My wife looked at me interrogatively as she sipped her cup of tea. I was up and dressed, she was still in bed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Give me a chance.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Just asking.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was used to these instructions framed as questions. It was part of our marital discourse, and preserved the illusion of equality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact I had already made a quick tour of the policies, unprepared for what I would discover.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The main part of our garden comprises a double lawn that contains at one end a hedge concealing a wilderness of untamed bushes and unruly undergrowth, and at the other a bed of more obedient plants that grow with a semblance of order. Some are in the prime of life, with an ample foliage and good height.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Beside and behind it stands a group of ancient trees, apple and pear and one of indeterminate lineage. This one\u2019s bark is gnarled, desiccated, craggy. Whatever leafage that might once have softened its severe demeanour had long since shrivelled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One evening, as we sat in a relaxed post prandial quiet, I was enjoying a couple of digestifs, my wife was reading a magazine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou know,\u201d I said, \u201c the more I look at that tree, the more it reminds me of your mother.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A frozen silence followed. My wife is not one to hold grudges, however, and after a few hours she relented.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The branches of this tree emanated from its slightly thicker trunk and spread upwards. One in particular had split further and assumed, perhaps due to arboreal obstinacy, the unmistakeable shape of a defiant V sign.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When working in the garden to clear the endless weeds in the plant bed, I would often look up and give it a nod of recognition. I had grown fond of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In one respect the tree differed from my mother-in-law. It was a good conversationalist. It was up for a chat about any subject – the weather, naturally, and especially politics. It was perhaps because I admired its perspicacity and good judgement, and the fact that we rarely disagreed, the tree and I, that it was with such shock and sadness that I had stared at the evidence of Amy\u2019s evil work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The tree was injured beyond repair. The upper half of the trunk was lying in the bed, but was far from at rest. It was still attached to the lower part by thick skelfs of split wood. It lay half obscured among the plants, the morning breeze creating creaking noises that to my ears sounded uncannily like groans.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

*<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019ll have to go.\u201d It was hard to disagree with my wife\u2019s summary judgement, uttered when she had joined me in a second inspection. \u201cAnd soon. It\u2019s crushing my hydrangea. And just look at my poor clematis. Really, you should have been more careful. Ok,ok, I know you\u2019ve retired, but it\u2019s only been a few months. You can\u2019t have forgotten that you had to check the trees when you were a park ranger. I don\u2019t know why I tolerate your, your lack of care.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I understood her frustrations, so let the remarks pass. Anyway, I had already decided that this was a chain saw job, and that I would make a virtue out of necessity. When I was gainfully employed, disposing of damaged or dangerous trees was part of my job description. I didn\u2019t often get the chance now to wield this fearsome bit of machinery, but it would be a quick and effective way to put the tree out of its misery.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I donned my protective overalls and put a pair of goggles round my neck, ready to slip them over my eyes when I got started. I was pulling on my gloves as my wife came out of the house, car keys jangling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThere\u2019s messages to get. Life must go on.\u201d She gave me a look that might have meant \u2018can you be trusted with a lethal weapon\u2019 or \u2018don\u2019t do any more damage.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I shrugged. Then I turned my attention to the tree. Much like a dentist reassures a patient, I nodded encouragingly. \u2018This may hurt, but I\u2019ll make it quick.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I couldn\u2019t set to work immediately. The tree lay there, all life spent, a shared cache of dendritic memories inert in its trunk. A eulogy was surely required. I searched for something appropriate to intone over the lifeless corpse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Clearing my throat, I began.\u201dOld friend, we share a lot of history, chatting, setting the world to rights. Indeed as the poet said, \u2018mony a canty day we\u2019ve had wi\u2019 ane anither.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can always rely on Burns to provide the appropriate verse. The tree didn\u2019t seem to mind my lack of originality. Then another thought occurred. I started up again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018I think that I shall never see, a thing as lovely as a tree…\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I stopped. I was certain I had seen a branch move, the obstinate one. I looked at it, quizzically. Yes, there was definitely a twitch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s the problem?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I stared, and saw that the branch\u2019s movement reminded me of something – yes, of an admonitory finger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCan\u2019t you see I\u2019m trying to pay you my respects? You should be grateful.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The twitching became more pronounced. I decided to ignore it and start again. I recited, emphasising each word. \u2018I think that I shall never see…\u2019 the branch seemed calm \u2018a thing as-\u2018<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The branch seemed to be going into spasm. What the…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It dawned on me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOk, I understand now. Sorry for the misquote. Listen.\u201d I stood up straight and began. \u2018I think that I shall never see, a poem as lovely as a tree.\u2019 I looked down. The branch was lying as I had seen it earlier this morning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou can rest peacefully now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I checked the oil level in the saw and the tension of the chain, and positioned the goggles over my eyes. I was about to pull the starter cord when I heard the ringtone of my mobile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I took it out of my pocket and recognised my wife\u2019s number.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAre you in the garden?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHave you started?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWell, listen\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m listening.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI need to tell you\u201d. A pause. \u201cI\u2019ve met someone.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cA man.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I considered this, imagining various scenarios.Was my life about to undergo a radical change? I waited.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes\u201d. An intake of breath.\u201d I\u2019m sure he\u2019s the one.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I examined my reactions. Surprise? Yes. Sadness? To an extent. Anger? Not really.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo don\u2019t do anything more to the tree. Wait till he gets there.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou mean he\u2019s coming round? Now?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWell, obviously. He\u2019s got to see it, see what\u2019s involved.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Realisation dawned. Surely it wasn\u2019t disappointment I was feeling?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t like the thought of you rampaging through the garden with the saw. So you won\u2019t need to worry about not managing. This man, he\u2019s a tree surgeon, got his own business. He was in the area so I had a word. He\u2019s got a trailer. He can take away the mess. Agree a price with him and it\u2019s sorted.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

*<\/p>\n\n\n\n

George duly arrived within twenty minutes. His face was weather beaten, he was bald and he looked to be well over seventy. His companion was a junior version – same shape of head but with a crop of thinning grey.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAye, thon storm has done us proud. In the space of a day, enough work for a month.\u201d The older man eyes were agleam. \u201cPlenty sillar for the twa\u2019 o\u2019 us.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He looked down at the trunk in the plant bed, and followed it with his eyes to where it was joined to the upper half.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat\u2019ll be the tricky bit.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWell, it\u2019s not exactly the Birnam Oak\u201d I didn\u2019t want his conjectures to boost his price. \u201cGive me your quote.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After a bit of haggling, we settled on a figure. George extended his arm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s a strange sensation to shake a hand that\u2019s missing a forefinger and a pinkie. George saw my expression and shrugged. \u201cOccupational hazard. Happens noo an\u2019 again.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hmm, I thought.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCanna\u2019 spend all day blethering. Let\u2019s get going.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

George took his saw from the back of his trailer, nodded to the other man, and cleared away the earth surrounding the trunk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cTime for a bit o\u2019 dismemberment!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I winced. But before he got started I said \u201c You don\u2019t wear gloves, even with…?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNaw. It\u2019s ma medication. For ma liver. Reacts bad wi\u2019 ma skin, an allergy thing. Canny\u2019 cover ma hauns.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I thought that mentioning cutting off noses to spite faces might not be appropriate. Then I noticed something else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut you do use goggles don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNaw again. It\u2019s an eye problem, canny\u2019 see properly through the plastic lenses. Something tae dae wi\u2019 cataracts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

George\u2019s fellow worker, whose name was Jimmy, was hovering impatiently. \u201cCome on Dad, make up your mind. Are you going to do this or not?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He turned to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDad\u2019s getting on a bit. He puts on this act, all confident and business like, but, really, he shouldn\u2019t still be doing this job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEnough o\u2019 that!\u201d There\u2019s plenty o\u2019 life left in this auld cutter.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I left them to it and went into the house to make us all a cup of tea. In due course I heard the strident yet reassuring noise of the chainsaw. Then shortly after a knock at the door. Jimmy looked embarrassed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSorry to bother you. I might need your help. We\u2019ve cut up the trunk that\u2019s lying on the ground, but it\u2019s the part still attached that\u2019s the problem.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHave you not got a ladder?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCan\u2019t you get it in position?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes, but…\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jimmy\u2019s silence was eloquent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo, is it a head and height problem?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s been coming on for a while, but he won\u2019t accept it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou guys are meant to be helping me, and not the other way round.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ll adjust the price.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While George reluctantly busied himself loading the bits of sawn wood and sundry debris on to the trailer, Jimmy and I took turns at the tricky job of detaching the remaining length of tree from the trunk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The pair of us manoeuvred it on to the ground and George, still surly but more acquiescent, completed the sundering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jimmy looked at me quizzically. \u201cYou\u2019ve done this before, haven\u2019t you? You listening, Dad?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

*<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou\u2019re still in your overalls.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As my wife laid two bags of messages on the ground she ran her eye over our group. Then at the garden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cJob done?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThis one certainly is.\u201d I tried to keep my voice neutral.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo why haven\u2019t you changed? And you two,\u201d nodding in the direction of George and Jimmy, \u201c have you not got another job to go to?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My wife had placed her hands on her hips. I recognised the confrontational stance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cRicht enough, aye, there\u2019s mair work for those ready tae sweat a wheen.\u201d George looked at me. I looked at Jimmy, then at my wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe\u2019ve been chatting, the three of us.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My wife\u2019s look might have been a glare. Then she pointed to the rucksack which was lying next to my chainsaw.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat looks like yours.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIndeed. Jimmy and George have got a contract in a forest up north. Clearing fallen trees, that sort of thing. Two or three day\u2019s work.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s that got to do with you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat\u2019s the thing. They need a hand. I\u2019m the hand. Serendipity really.\u201d I hoped my smile didn\u2019t appear triumphant. \u201cSo I\u2019ll be away for a bit.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While this conversation was proceeding, George and Jimmy had climbed into the truck, and George had started the engine. I grabbed my rucksack and saw and jumped in behind them. I stuck my head out of the window.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be back in a couple of days. But who knows. Maybe there\u2019s a part-time job waiting for me with these lads.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I saw my wife\u2019s mouth open and close. I nodded.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes, I agree. Wasn\u2019t that good fortune that you met someone?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

By David Carson<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
David Carson<\/a><\/blockquote>